A.S. STEPS
Home: 87 Gentle Street

(Note: "A.S." refers to the U.P. College of Arts and Sciences in Diliman, which used to be housed in Palma Hall alone until it was split into three different colleges, the College of Science, The College of Fine Arts, and the College of Social Sciences and Philosophy, which Palma Hall came to be known as.)


You all know her.

The Girl We Love To Hate. Not because she's skinny and gorgeous and her Daddy's rich, but because she was everything we ever hated when we were in school: sinungaling, chismosa, intriguera, sumbungera (later known as chu-chu) and iyakin.

To those of you who don't understand Tagalog, those words roughly meant "liar", "malicious gossip", "tattletale" and "crybaby". Not a charming combination any way you look at it.

I have had the misfortune of knowing a few of these girls. I'm even related to some of them by affinity. Believe me, they don't get better with age.

These girls are always crying for attention. And if you don't give it to them, they try tugging at your heartstrings by feigning illness. I once had a neighbor who mysteriously turned epileptic overnight. What was more mysterious about it was the fact that she would only get her "seizures" when the neighborhood girls were around. We were all alarmed at first, but it didn't take long for the savvier ones to see through the act.

One day, she decided to put on a show again, pretending to have convulsions. All of us who were around were used to the display by now, and no one batted an eyelash. She decided to up the ante and began to cry and drool at the same time. It was really getting to be quite annoying, but we just rolled our eyes behind her back and continued to ignore her.

Finally, she couldn't stand it much longer. She jerked and shuddered her way to one of our friends, gasping a tearful request: "Ging, sampalin mo ako!"

My friend gladly obliged. More than once.


I don't know if hypochondria is a feature of this personality disorder, better known as "KSP", or "Kulang Sa Pansin", but it certainly fits the profile.

I once had a classmate in High School who claimed she had rheumatic heart disease. She mysteriously forgot about her serious malady whenever it was time to play volleyball, but since this was the same person who boasted she had a swimming pool inside her house, nobody really took her seriously.

I didn't let her bother me, even when she stole my former best friend away from me. I honestly wondered what my friend, who was pretty and popular, saw in her, but I just rationalized it as taking a less fortunate soul under one's wing. much like Jane Austen's "Emma", or her modern version, Alicia Silverstone's Cher in "Clueless".

But when this same person had the effrontery to suggest to my friends that my boyfriend at the time was courting her, it was the final insult. I never spoke to her again.


Fast forward two years. I was now a college freshman at U.P. Diliman, with new friends and a brand new boyfriend who happened to be picking me up after my last class for the week. As I waited for him patiently at the A.S. Steps, I felt a tap on my shoulder and turned to find my former best friend, whom I will refer to as "Emma". I was delighted to see her. The roots of our close friendship hailed back to elementary school, and I honestly missed her company.

After a few minutes of catching up, I invited her to sit down with me, telling her I'd introduce her to my cute LaSallista boyfriend when he came. To my dismay, she declined, telling me "Miss Smith" was waiting for her, motioning to a now-familiar figure, sitting a few steps in front of me.

Oh well. It wasn't long before my boyfriend drove up anyway. I can still remember my heart quickening when I saw the familiar Toyota Starlet parking in front of us. He climbed out of the driver's seat, scanning the steps, wearing the Goggle T-shirt I had just given him for our monthly anniversary. When he saw me, a smile lit up his face and he ran up the steps to meet me, greeting me with a huge kiss before leading me back to the car.

I fairly floated down those steps, catching a glimpse of the faces of my friend and Miss Rheumatic Heart, their looks of surprise barely registering in the kilig-induced haze before my knight drove me away into the sunset.


After the weekend, I saw my friend again and she had this story to tell:

Apparently, she and Miss RH were talking on the steps when they noticed this cute Toyota Starlet pull up with an even cuter mestizo driving it. Miss RH nudged her when he alighted, muttering "uy, cute" under her breath. They kept their eyes on him as he walked past, following his progress as he climbed the A.S. Steps, all the way up to...

me!

Miss RH quickly turned away as he planted his lips on mine. But I knew she saw it, and that was enough for me. I had my pound of flesh.


I'd like to see her allege this boyfriend was secretly courting her too!


Ahhh...revenge is sweet.


(PLUGGING: "Baby Steps", the latest in "The Prada Mama Chronicles".)