MY MOM, THE BIRTHDAY MAVEN

It's the middle of April, and the birthday season is well on its way.

When we were younger, the month of March used to herald in the birthday season, which lasted from March to June. My Dad's birthday kicked off the festivities, on March 7, followed in quick succession by mine, on March 28th, and my Mom's, on April 14. Then things settled down a bit, and we had an entire month to prepare for my sisters' birthdays: Haya's, on May 19th, and Maya's, just two weeks later on June 3rd.

This time, it's my Mom's turn to be feted. She will be turning 58 tomorrow, April 14. I can only wish I could look as good as she does when I turn 58.

I've always been proud of my Mom. When I was in school, my classmates would always tell me how beautiful my Mom was whenever she'd visit me in class. I was told that she looked like a movie star when she was younger, often compared to Pilar Pilapil. I always scoffed at this, thinking she was much prettier. She was also very smart, earning her Bachelor's and Master's degrees in UP before heading to the States to work on her Ph.D.

I called my Mom in New York a few days before her birthday, and she said she planned to celebrate quietly, maybe with a meal at her favorite Indian restaurant with my stepfather, Ira. This is so like my Mom, a lady of simple tastes and desires. And yet she would go all out when it came to her children.

Take the case of birthdays, for instance. Birthdays have always been a big deal to us. I guess it's because when we were kids, our family would always celebrate is a big way, usually with a birthday party. During times of plenty, my Mom would order pabitins and pinyatas (better known then as "hit the palayok"), but even during lean times, we would always have balloons. And then there was the food. I didn't much care what was in the menu, as long as it included my favorite party staple: my Lola Elvie's spaghetti. And of course, the piece-de-resistance, a beautiful birthday cake. And yes, it ALWAYS had to be chocolate.

My Mom would sometimes keep the cake a surprise from us, and we would gasp in wonder as soon as it was unveiled. We ordered our cakes from our favorite place, Merced Bake shop along EDSA, and each year, it would be different. I remember a Snow White cake, with all the seven dwarves, and another year, it was Sesame Street, with Ernie, Bert, Big Bird and Oscar (in his garbage can). After the candles were blown, we would lick the icing from the figures while my Mom cut the cake. Then my Lola would wash the figures and put them on display in a shelf somewhere.

My birthday would always fall just a few days after school closed for the summer, but Mom would still let me invite some of my friends and classmates over. It was different with my sisters, Maya and Haya, who always celebrated their birthdays out of town, depending on where we were vacationing at the time. Since we were usually in Mindanao with our paternal grandparents during summer break, Maya and Haya had many of their joint birthday parties in Iligan.

My Lola Luz had her own style of entertaining. For instance, instead of serving store-bought cakes, she preferred to bake her own. She had a whole array of Wilton baking molds, and my sisters would get to choose, helping my Lola bake and ice their cake. Sometimes, Lola Luz would instruct them to go to her garden and pick the prettiest flowers they could find, and she would use these to decorate the birthday cake.

I remember one occasion, when Lola Luz ordered special homemade Durian ice cream for the party. We all wrinkled our noses when we found out, expecting it to stink. To our surprise, it smelled quite normal. Since it was the only ice cream in the house, we finally mustered up enough courage to taste it, and it was actually quite good!

When we got to High School, we all thought we were too "grown-up" for birthday parties, so we just asked our parents for money so we could treat our barkadas to lunch. Since we all went to UPIS for high school, the usual birthday venue was Shakey's Loyola in Katipunan. We would order family-sized versions of our favorite pizzas, (Shakey's Special and Manager's Choice), and supplement these with Chick N' Chips (Shakey's famous fried chicken with mojo potatoes), washed down with pitchers of root beer.

And then there is that important milestone in a girl's life, her debut at the age of 18. As luck would have it, my 18th birthday fell right smack on Good Friday, 1986. This, to me, was opportune, since I wasn't one for lavish parties anyway. Instead, I asked my Mom and Dad if they could just give me money to open my own Express Teller account. At the time, Bank of the Philippine Islands was the only banking chain which offered automated teller machines. I opened an account with my birthday money, feeling so grown up when I received my very first ATM card.

It was also during this birthday that I was allowed to go out of town with a friend for the very first time. My friend, Tina Panopio celebrated her birthday just a few days before mine, and I joined her family for an Easter weekend outing in Anilao, Batangas. My Mom told me that since I was already 18, I was old enough to be trusted. I deeply appreciated this, and tried my very best to show her that I deserved her trust. This, more than anything, set me down firmly on the road to maturity.

When we got even older, our celebrations became simpler, but Mom would always make it a point to celebrate somehow. Usually, we'd have a quiet meal with the family at our favorite Chinese restaurant. But there would still be times when Mom would splurge, and one of our favorite ways of living it up was checking into a hotel or resort somewhere.

On one of my birthdays, the whole family went to try out a new hot spring resort in Los Banos. We were with my Mom's colleagues from La Salle, an extra treat for me since I had the biggest crush on my Mom's best friend's son, and he was THERE! I also remember a spontanoeus trip up North somewhere for Haya's birthday. We just piled into the car and drove with no apparent destination, finding ourselves at the North Expressway and ending up in Tarlac (or was it Bulacan?), where we checked into some roadside inn and explored the immediate vicinity. For Haya's birthday meal, we had an exotic repast of venison and baboy damo (wild boar) in May Farm, a restaurant compound owned and run by a hunter in Bamban, Tarlac. My Mom was always "game" when it came to new experiences (pardon the pun)!

During another memorable celebration, Mom treated us by checking the whole family into the Manila Peninsula for Maya's birthday. This happened during the weekend of the infamous "ash fall", right after Mt. Pinatubo's eruption. By then, I was already a weekend news anchor for RPN News. I remember the slow, nerve-wracking drive from Makati to Broadcast City, amid blinding ash and soot. Of course, I had the misfortune of choosing a black outfit for that particular newscast. By the time I got to Channel 9, I looked like I had just rolled in a sack of cement. Back then, my wardrobe was sponsored by SM, and I was allowed to keep one set of clothes per month. Guess what outfit I was forced to keep that month?

The last time I celebrated my birthday with my Mom was six years ago. We were in Miami at the time, and we had dinner at Martha's, our favorite waterfront restaurant in Dania. I was in Miami to finalize my divorce, and Lorenzo flew in fresh from a fashion show in New York to lend me some moral support. It was the first meeting between my Mom and Lorenzo, but despite her initial misgivings, she remained polite and gracious during dinner. By the end of the evening, I could see that Lorenzo had won my Mom's approval, and I was quietly grateful that she gave him a chance, by getting to know him before passing judgment.

As I look back at these birthday memories, I realize how much my Mom was a part of them. And I am thankful that I inherited the same reverence and esteem for birthdays which my Mom displayed when we were growing up. There's no denying it: I'm a sucker for birthdays. I got it from my Mom.

I think my enthusiasm for celebrating birthdays is so catching, it's rubbing off on the rest of the Serenos. My in-laws now find themselves throwing parties for their children too, and there was even a time when we planned monthly family pot lucks to celebrate everyone's birthdays. Considering my parents-in-law have 6 children and 16 granchildren (soon to be 17, when my daughter is born) there is always someone's birthday to celebrate at any given month.

It wasn't always like this. One of the saddest stories I'd heard was when everybody forgot it was Lorenzo's birthday. He ended up making pansit himself and bringing it to his parents' house along with a store-bought cake. They were surprised to see him, initially not knowing why he came over with food. When I first heard this story, I couldn't believe my mother-in-law failed to remember her own son's birthday. What I found even more unconscionable was the fact that Lorenzo's own WIFE at the time had also forgotten his birthday! Whenever I am reminded of this, I always give my husband a hug. I guess this is my way of reassuring him that this would NEVER happen again, to him OR to any of my kids, for as long as I'm around.

I guess this is another reason I now find myself making a big deal out of my sons' birthdays. Like my Mom before me, I just love the thought of celebrating another year added to their lives. In honor of my Mom, I want my kids' birthday memories to be just as happy as mine.

In fact, I've kept a lot of my remembered traditions alive in my present family. Foremost of these is the all-important birthday cake. I make it a point to have Lance and Troy choose their cakes well in advance. This makes them look forward to their parties even more. So far, Lance has already chosen Winnie the Pooh, Teletubbies and Thomas the Tank Engine, with a dinosaur cake lined up for his next birthday. Troy, on the other hand, has had Elmo and Blue's Clues birthday cakes. When he turns three this coming July, I think I'll do Harry Potter. Troy loves Harry Potter. In fact, when he sees a kid he doesn't particularly like, he points an imaginary wand at him, uttering that terrifying spell, "Eat slugs!"

And then there are the parties themselves. Lance's last birthday was held after school in Del Taco. For Troy's celebration, I am already planning a Harry Potter movie party. Since the next Harry Potter film will be coming out in June, the lines shouldn't be too bad by the time Troy's birthday, July 17, comes along. We'll probably invite a few cousins and friends to see the movie with us, proceeding to the theater's party room for cake and ice cream after.

I usually have a swimming party for Troy, with his birthday right in the middle of summer, but this year, I'll think I'll push the swimming party a month back, in time for Lorenzo's 35th birthday on August 13. Come July, I'll still have my hands full with our new baby daughter, Reana Loren, due to arrive on June 1. It's hard to believe that in six weeks' time, we'll have a new life to celebrate. Another birthday to commemorate with each passing year.

And so I honor the person who gave me life, even as I wait for another life to spring from my own.

Happy Birthday, Mom. May this birthday bring you much happiness, just as you strove to make us happy for our birthdays, many, many years ago.